“The home is the centre and circumference, the start and the finish of most of our lives.”
–Charlotte Perkins Gilman
Our homes are a visible manifestation of our inward world. Because of this, we need to fill them with things that are soul-building. To paraphrase Marie Kondo, keep only those things that speak to our hearts or bring us joy. Get rid of the rest. Why keep items that we do not love, that do not fill us with happiness?
Who Do You Want to Be, and How Do You Want to Live?
It was only about ten years ago when I sat down and really made a list of things that made me happy. White towels and hand-embroidered pillow slips, country cottage gardens, fresh herbs in my food and my bath, a cat to greet me when I came in the door. I love flowing boho-style clothes, particularly linen with big chunky silver jewelry. I love women with long gray hair and heavy makeup, I love family dinners and hiking through wooded paths.
Rid Yourself of Everything That Isn’t Your Ideal
Most of these things I already had; it was a matter of ridding myself of the things that didn’t match that vision. I’m sure you’ve heard the story of Michelangelo carving the famous statue of David. He said David was in the block of marble all along; he just removed everything that wasn’t David.
Your ideal home is there too. You’ve been living in it all along. You just need to remove everything that isn’t aligned with your ideal. For example, in my closet, I had clothes I hadn’t worn in years but kept because they were expensive. They may have been me years ago, but not the me that I present to the world today. I don’t feel comfortable or empowered in them. I believe authenticity enhances personal power. We reflect who we are on the inside through our clothes and, ultimately, our home.
Fill Your Home with Things That Make You Happy
I love old mismatched china, the kind Rachel Ashwell of Shabby Chic would adore, yet my cupboards were full of unattractive dishes from 90s supermarket sales. Why? When the kids were little, maybe I worried about chipping good dishes or ruining them in the dishwasher. But I no longer have a dishwasher in my pink 1940s home.
So, I gave away all the dishes I no longer wanted and started collecting floral china plates when I saw them at flea markets or yard sales. They don’t all match, but they blend because of common color schemes. I eat my meals off of china, even when I’m alone. Plastic, ugly, or chipped dishes have no place in my kitchen. These old, beautiful items make me happy when I wash up after a family meal, and I even like how they look piled on the dish rack.
Create Spaces That Encourage Your Growth
Our homes should be spaces that inspire us to keep growing, evolving, and becoming the people we want to be. Just as we surround ourselves with people who lift us up and encourage us, our spaces should do the same. Maybe it’s a quiet reading nook where you can retreat with a cup of tea and your favorite book, or a bright and open kitchen that encourages you to try new recipes and invite friends over for dinner. Think about the environments that help you thrive. Do they inspire creativity, calm, or joy? If not, it’s time to make some intentional changes. Your home is not just where you exist; it’s where you grow.
Embrace Imperfection as Part of the Charm
I have always loved items with a history—a chair that’s a little weathered or a chipped vase that tells a story of another time. These imperfections don’t detract from the beauty of my home; they enhance it. They remind me that beauty isn’t about perfection, but about character, meaning, and life lived well. A home filled with pristine, untouched items might look good in a magazine, but does it feel alive? There’s magic in imperfection. When you embrace it, you’ll find that your home becomes a truer reflection of your heart. Surround yourself with things that tell a story, things that resonate with the real you, flaws and all.
Your Home Should Reflect Your Future, Not Your Past
It’s so easy to hold onto things that no longer serve us because they represent a version of ourselves we once were, or someone we thought we had to be. Maybe you have a closet full of corporate suits from a career you no longer love, or perhaps your home is decorated in a way that reflects someone else’s tastes more than your own. It’s time to release those things. When you hold onto the past, you leave little room for the future to bloom. As you move forward, ask yourself: Who am I becoming? How do I want to feel in my space? The choices you make today should support that vision of your future self. Let your home become a space that nurtures who you are growing into, not who you used to be.
Your Home Becomes a Reflection of You
Ultimately, your home is a mirror. If you want to create a space that is peaceful, joyful, and uniquely yours, start by curating what you allow to exist in that space. Let it reflect who you are and who you aspire to become. Your home is a living entity—it grows with you, breathes with you, and evolves with you. The more intentional you are about how you shape it, the more empowered you’ll feel in every other area of your life. Make your home a reflection of your truest self, and in return, it will nurture and support the person you are becoming.
We Create Our Homes, and Then Our Homes Create Us
Our homes are a direct reflection of who we are, but they also play a powerful role in shaping who we become. The moment we curate a space with intention, filling it with objects that speak to our hearts and support our well-being, our homes start to nurture and inspire us in return. They become sanctuaries where we can strip away the masks we wear in the outside world and be our most authentic selves. It’s in this space of comfort and authenticity that we grow into the person we are meant to be. When your home aligns with your true self, it has the power to transform not just your living space, but your entire life.
